Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Complaints Of A Teenage Drama Queen

LMAO, Okay so I know we said that we would be posting every other day, but frankly, I never saw that happening. =) PP and I have extremely crazy schedules and with theatre practice, school, writing, etc. Things are insane. Well... plus I live on Myspace so, yeah. LOL. But the point is, I haven't blogged in like a month and that's REALLY sad! I just... I feel like there's nothing I can really talk about. I mean, I originally thought of this as away to get out my feelings and emotions, but there apparently isn't much that I need to say. ...Okay that's bull, let's say, there just isn't much I need to say online where ANYONE can read it! ...Some people already don't like me. LOL. 
Anyhoo, I've been pretty out of it lately. Stress tends to get to me easily. I put myself under a hell of a lot of pressure and I freak out when things begin to go  just the littlest bit south. I never quite know how to handle things so I try to push it all towards the back of my mind. But sometimes I just can't. About once a month I start to lose it. I just can't help it. I start to lose control, feel the need to scream at the top of my lungs, and I feel suffocated. Like all the walls around me are just moving in closer and closer intent on squishing me down into paper. 
I have so many dreams. Dreams that someday, are all that gets me through. I know what I want, I know that I can be great if given the opportunity, but I'm terrified that I'll screw up before truly given the chance. My grades -Groan- are my biggest issue. Every time I feel that things are getting easier and better, they get worse again. This is the first year that I've ever passed Math. I'm working my ass off and doing so well. But now I'm failing Journalism, a class that is so easy for me, it's crazy! So why CAN'T I PASS!?!?!? Then there's Health, the easiest class in history, but what do I have? An F! And why? Homework. The answer to all my life's problems. I suck at getting my homework done. I forget, or don't write down the assignment, or decide that I'll do it tomorrow. Of course I never do. 
So now I'm failing, panicking, worrying, making myself restless and sick. And even worse, I'm bringing those I love down with me. Awesome huh?

*Ash Nay*

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Saturday, October 4, 2008


So Since I've Started To Read Nonstop and Have Random Book Ideas I Think I Would Actually Like A Writing Career. I Mean, Stephanie Myers, twilight series made me cry. If someone can put that much emotion and feeling into a book, and it touch people like it touched me deep down; I want to be a writer! If iI could do that i would want nothing more than to give that back for a change. I don't think I could be half the writers my two aunts or Ashley is but I could try. "I wanna Turn!" :( LOL, Just Kidding All Of You Are Amazing and You Three Are My Idol and Make Me Want To Get Up In The Morning.